Arrival of Spring

Journal, The Healing WorkKait MauroComment

Almost every night lately: nightmares. Living brains transferred into dead dismembered bodies, asking for my help (I wish I could remember what they told me). Snakes have bitten me and big sores and scars, almost glittering like bloody diamonds, have swollen up around where their fangs dug in - I didn't feel pain. The one that got me wasn't lethally poisonous, more a lizard than a snake - I remember telling this to Edward in the dream, but other people were not so lucky and I saw it all. They attacked and escaped, slithering up and down walls. In another dream people watched people they love be executed. Faces keep turning into other faces as I look at them, morphing smoothly.

It's almost mid-March now so I am feeling optimistic that I successfully (thank you meds) skipped my annual late-January through mid-March depression this year. Yesterday I woke up at 5am because my dreams were so bad. I started working almost right away and worried I was becoming spring hypomania but today I slept until 10 so I think I am balanced for now, which is a relief.

I got a new camera at the end of February and it's reinvigorated my love of photography. Below are some of the photographs I've taken with it so far - I am shooting everything on manual (setting the ISO, aperture & shutter speed by hand instead of letting the camera set them all for me) these days because it'll make my art stronger. It's not as hard as I thought it would be, I remember more than I thought I did from way back in 2011 when I learned to shoot on manual for the first time.

Spring is arriving here in Birmingham and last weekend we took the dogs to the Cahaba River for a hike. I documented the budding green leaves against the afternoon sun. I felt inspired and took a self portrait laying on the floor with flower buds from a neighborhood tree in my hair. I've started my balcony garden again now that the risk of below freezing temperatures is mostly over - tomatoes, rainbow chard, lavender, sage, parsley, oregano, cilantro, pansies, some perennial flowers I love but can't remember the name of. My dwarf rose bush is still there (I planted it in a giant blue glazed pot on the balcony last summer) and has lots of green leaves again but no flower buds yet. I'm going to plant basil and begonias today.

We've finally figured out the schedule for moving from Birmingham to Montgomery, kind of, and it's much more forgiving than we thought it would be. I thought we would have to move immediately once May began and had no idea if Edward and I would have time to settle into Montgomery together before he started rotations at the hospital but it turns out we could move at pretty much any time in May or June because Edward will be doing a "scholarly activity" not a hospital rotation to start off his 3rd year of medical school. We went to Montgomery two weekends ago to look at little houses for rent but didn't find a place we couldn't pass up. So I'll be keeping my eyes on the websites looking for something coming available in May or June for us.