The Beast / Anxiety

The Healing Work, JournalKait MauroComment

I don't feel much like an artist lately because I haven't been making much art. The obvious solution is just to do some creative work - but the trouble is my anxiety. I'm struggling so much with anxiety lately that it's getting in the way of my ability to function in day to day life. I realized last night that except for a photoshoot I had last week, I haven't left the house without Lena (my little dog) or Edward in far too long. Even driving alone is anxiety provoking. I have only been going to places Lena is allowed to go with me. I just don't feel safe alone out in the world. I don't know why this is. I feel too exposed - I need, for some reason, to have someone with me. I need to wear a cozy cardigan or wrap despite the Alabama in August heat because I find being wrapped up comforting when I am out in the world - less exposed, safer somehow. I feel overwhelmed by how much work I need to do on myself, how stuck I feel right now, how many emotions and experiences and traumas I still need to process, work through, learn from. I feel overwhelmed & under stimulated at the same time. I've started a new blogging project that's aimed at exploring these mental health things but I am keeping it private for now, separate from my name. I may change this eventually.

I'm trying.